Ashley's Journey

Success is not a race, be patient.
Success leads to success.
Success is always a work in progress.
Success doesn’t come to you–you go to it.
Success is a journey, not a destination. Focus on the process.
Some people dream about success… while others wake up and work hard at it.
Success is achieved and maintained by those who try-and keep trying.
Everyday is a good day to SUCCEED!
If at first you don’t succeed-try, try again

I still remember the first day we met
We were too shy to say much at all
It’s funny to think back to that time
Because now we’re having a ball!

They say that true friendship is rare
An adage that I believe to be true
Genuine friendship is something that I cherish
I am so lucky to have met you.

Our bond is extremely special
It is unique in it’s own way
We have something irreplaceable
I love you more and more each day.

We’ve been through so much together
In so little time we’ve shared
I will never forget all the moments
That you’ve shown me how much you cared.

Friends are forever
Especially the bond that you and I possess
I love your fun-filled personality
Somehow you never fail to impress.

The world could use more people like you
It would certainly be a better place
I love everything about you
You are someone I could never replace.

You are always there for me
When my spirits need a little lift
I cannot thank you enough for that
You are truly an extraordinary gift.

You are everything to me and more
I could never express that enough
Life is such a treacherous journey, and
Without you it would be even more tough.

Our story will continue to grow
With each passing day
Because I trust that with you by my side
Everything will always be Okay.

You are so dear to me
You know I will love you until the end
I will always be there for you, and
You will always (and forever) be my best friend.

“We’ve all felt it – the heady rush of escalating emotional connection and the hot juiciness of a growing sexual attraction, with a person we are just beginning to know and want to know better, much better. It may be viewed as new love, or maybe new lust, but it’s definitely a factor to reckon with.”

New relationships can wreak havoc on your emotional stability. From first date jitters to long-term doubts, there’s plenty of opportunity for worry. But what if this time, in this relationship, you were able to master your anxieties and simply enjoy the journey of falling in love? The very simple trick is to remember that you are in control of your feelings in every situation.

The first date is often the most emotionally tying, and can seem more difficult the more you want it to go right. That’s because too many of us expect our dates to play out as ideal fantasies, but honestly, where’s the adventure in that? Try to control every detail of the date and you’ll see the stress pile up as things don’t go to plan.

Holidays, first meetings with parents and friends, and discussions about commitment and the future are some other major stressors to early dating. Try to micro-manage a gathering or set deadlines for commitment milestones and you’ll let anxiety rule the relationship.

Controlling your worries starts with a proper approach. Remember, the word romance once meant adventure as much as it did love. A new relationship is exciting, so why not enjoy the excitement instead of struggling against it? Embrace the journey and everything it brings by telling yourself: I am happy to have found someone special and I appreciate this adventure.

Being in charge of your emotions also means letting go of negativity. When our current relationship feels unsteady, our minds tend to recklessly leap to painful memories from our past. Always keep in mind, this current relationship is a brand new slate—if you have made mistakes in your past, this is your chance to prove you’ve grown, and if you were once badly hurt, remember that this is not the relationship that hurt you. The past is not your future.

Ultimately, you must try to focus on the bigger picture of the situation. You are dating someone great who might just turn out to be your perfect partner. Why is that important to you? What do you have to gain? What have you already gained? Focus less on what there is to lose and you’ll find that the little things that might go wrong probably just don’t matter.

To many of us, being successful in terms of a career is important, but equally so is being content and fulfilled in a good relationship. When we think we’ve found it, our happiness knows no bounds. And when it seems like it’s over, we go through a gamut of emotions – anger, despair, grief, sadness, and depression. We feel lost and adrift, unsure what our next move should be. It’s actually very clear. It’s akin to losing a near and dear one. And when that happens, the first step is to let go.

Letting go of a relationship (and a partner) that has meant everything to us isn’t the easiest thing to do. But it has to be done if we have to move on, for we cannot live in the present and look ahead to the future until we achieve closure on the past. How can we let go? Letting go of a relationship involves letting go of:

1. The feelings/emotions

The anger, animosity and resentment you may feel towards your partner, now your ex. There could be a sense of betrayal if he cheated on you, or if you were the one responsible for the break-up, a feeling of guilt. Don’t stifle your emotions and bottle them up, but allow yourself to grieve over the demise of what could have been and possibly was, something wonderful. But you have to set a time limit – you cannot keep wallowing in grief and sadness – it will get to be a habit.

2. Envisioning possibilities

Don’t dwell on what might-have-been. Letting go of a relationship involves recognizing that it was not meant to be and that you have to set new goals and build new dreams. Avoid having unrealistic expectations or hopes that you may get back together. Or that he would change and perhaps become the person you want him to be or your problems will just get sorted out. Realize that the relationship has run its course and it is time to let go.

3. Your dependency

Often when we have been in a relationship for some time – a few months, a year or several years – we tend to lose our identity. We get used to having the other person around and derive comfort from the familiar. It isn’t easy to start getting used to coming home to an empty house or having dinner by yourself. It is something you will have to steel yourself to do if you have to wean yourself from your dependence on the other person.

4. Idolizing the relationship

It’s easy when you’re not with someone any longer, and especially if you’re miserable on your own to miss all the good times you shared. Happy memories are to be cherished but not to the point where that’s all you think about and aren’t doing anything about making new ones. You must remember that if there was so much happiness in the relationship, chances are you’d still be together. You probably had some very serious problems and unhappy times – times when you wanted out and couldn’t bear being in the same room with your ex. These are the times you have to think about and realize that your best bet right now lies in letting go of the past and enjoying your single life.

5. All contact

It has to be a clean break. Don’t tell yourself you’re going to call her one last time or give it just one more try. Don’t keep calling up friends and asking them if he’s already seeing someone new or if she’s as depressed as you are. If you are serious about letting go of your relationship you have to carve out a new existence, one that has no room for old baggage.

6. Your fears

If you have to truly let go of a relationship, you have to forget your apprehensions and worries about being alone and how you’ll cope. And you also have to learn to trust again. Not just someone else but also yourself and your instincts. One, two or even more broken relationships doesn’t mean that we should close ourselves off from loving again. After all, relationships may involve agony but they also involve ecstasy and life wouldn’t be complete without a healthy dose of both.

7. Generalizations

You cannot generalize and harbor false assumptions that just because your ex cheated on you, abused you or caused emotional damage, your next relationship/partner will follow suit. You cannot tar everyone with the same brush; after all there is such a thing as giving someone, and a new relationship, a fair chance.

8. Your sense of failure

Just as it takes two to tango and two hands to clap, it also takes two to makes a relationship work. Don’t berate yourself for what you could have done better or how you could have been more understanding. You’ve probably been terribly hurt but have also learnt a few valuable lessons about life and love in the process – something that will stand you in good stead for the journey ahead.

When you are ready to let go of a relationship and reconcile yourself to keeping the past in the past, you will experience an enormous weight being lifted off your shoulders and a sense of accomplishment that you have come out of the whole experience a much stronger person.

looking back on what i said all those years ago, all the hopes and dreams i had, i’ve come to the conclusion that if having things turn out the way you wanted them to is a measure of a successful life, then some would say i’m a failure. the important thing is not to be bitter over life’s disappointments. learn to let go of the past. and recognize that every day won’t be sunny. but when you find yourself lost in the darkness of despair, remember it’s only in the black of the night that you can see the stars. and those stars will lead you back home. so, don’t be afraid to make mistakes. to stumble and fall. cause, most of the time, the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. maybe you’ll get everything you wish for. maybe, you’ll get more than you ever could have imagined. who knows where life will take you. the road is long. and in the end, the journey is the destination.